Internal Consciousness: Memory

Memory is the stored version of the information that our external and internal consciousness senses have experienced as we go through life, or of things we learned or experienced from others or from books and online sources.

Memory can be useful, however it is notoriously fallible and unreliable. Memory can quite easily be manipulated by others via story-telling, repetition of falsehoods, or emotional manipulation. Sometimes when memory is associated with strong emotions, it can cause us distress or even can trigger physical symptoms or illness.   Trauma occurs when memories of intensely emotional past events trigger uncontrolled and intense emotions in present time.

In our study of consciousness, our objective with the consciousness sense of memory is not to increase recall or facts, but to explore the nature of memory about our sensory experiences. Memory records much more sensory information than we typically take time to remember.  Our memories contain a huge number of impressions from all our consciousness senses, and neuroscientists are very much still understanding how all this information is encoded or stored in our brain.

Our memory records the experiences of our external consciousness senses in the form of sight, sound, touch, taste and movement. It also also records the sensations of our internal consciousness senses in the form of memories about what we were thinking, feeling, imagining and how our body felt while doing things in the past. In general, the more emotion we felt during the event, the clearer the memory will be, and the longer we can recall it. 

When we combine our consciousness sense of memory with our consciousness sense of thinking, we create stories that define how we see ourselves over time. These stories can sometimes be deliberate, but more often are not. Many stories that we tell ourselves are interpretations (meaning) of the emotions we felt when we experienced certain events in our lives, rather than accurate memories of the feeling of the emotion as it happened. If you are having trouble distinguishing between meaning and feeling, take some time to contemplate that and become clear on that idea.  If we want to improve our lives, understanding the difference between emotion and the meaning we created because we felt that emotion is critical. 

Once we can distinguish whether a story is an accurate memory of the emotion or event that occurred, or meaning we added after the event, we can start to make decisions about the meaning we assign to past memories. Are we remembering the parts of ourselves that we are powerful, successful or tenacious, and the emotions of passion, bliss and motivation? Or are we remembering the parts of ourselves that show that life is hopeless, futile and depressing? To make choices that support your life to go in the direction you chose, our memory skills are an often-neglected area that needs some tuning and improvement. 

Your experience of life always occurs in the present. Yet what causes us to behave in the present the way we do in the present? If our behavior is not creating the results in life we want, we can use memory to explore the emotions and sensations we experienced in the past and separate that from the story or meaning we assigned to those experiences that we may be repeating in the present. Being in control of your memory, and particularly how we remember emotions, is a key skill in this self-reflection process. 

Often, memories of highly emotional events in our past are the things that we are most reluctant to remember. When we deliberately combine our consciousness sense of memory with our consciousness sense of emotion, we can deliberately go back into our past and remember emotions that we may have avoided feeling. Without a clear reason to do this, going back and remembering unpleasant emotions is something most people are unwilling to do.

Neuroscientists have confirmed that recalling an emotionally charged event engages many of the same areas of the brain as would have occurred when experiencing the event for the first time. Both real and recalled emotions activate the amygdala, which processes emotional intensity, especially for fear, anxiety, and strong positive emotions. The medial prefrontal cortex (mPFC) and orbitofrontal cortex (OFC) are involved in regulating and interpreting emotions, whether they arise from memory or real-life stimuli. The Insula and Somatosensory Cortex are responsible for integrating bodily sensations with emotions. Interestingly, recalling an emotional experience can still produce bodily responses (like increased heart rate or sweating), though often at a lower intensity. 

Importantly, the hippocampus helps reconstruct past emotional experiences and links them with the present. When we recall emotions, we are not experiencing them in the past. We are experiencing them in present time.  The more traumatic the memory is, the more control and skill we need over both memory and emotion to go back and recreate a traumatic event, without re-experiencing the negative consequences of that trauma in the present. There can be very real dangers of re-traumatizing yourself if you remember really intense emotions in present time during this sort of consciousness work. If you have any doubts about doing consciousness exercises that recall very intense emotions, it’s a good idea to talk to a therapist first.

When memory and thinking are combined, humans have a unique ability to establish ideas and beliefs that help us organize ourselves or motivate or manipulate others. This combination of memory and thinking is one aspect that separates human consciousness from animal consciousness. While some animals clearly have detailed memories, most rely on instinct to guide them to a particular watering hole or hunting ground. A few animals, like elephants, dolphins, chimpanzees, parrots and some insects may have basic thinking, emotion and memory combinations that allow them to organize into social or family groups and create habits based on memories rather than instinct. Humans, in contrast, have vast stored personal and collective memories about how we must behave emotionally and physically with each other in order to successfully operate as civilized societies.

Practice: Deep Memory

Find a quiet, comfortable place to sit where you won’t be disturbed for at least ten minutes. Close your eyes and pick a time in your life when you felt happy. It doesn’t really matter how long ago it was; the key thing is that it is when you were happy. Please don’t pick a negative memory unless you have the confidence to work through negative emotional states that may get triggered by a negative memory.

Next, gently direct your attention to the most obvious aspects of that memory — whether it is a place, a person, an idea or activity. Sometimes it helps to focus on the place and time, but don’t get too hung up on details if the exact time and place are no longer clear. Do this for about a minute or so.

Now, go deeper. Direct your attention to distinct sensory aspects of that memory in turn, for instance the color of the leaves, the sound of a car door slamming, the temperature in the room, how you felt about what was going on, exactly what internal dialogue or thoughts were you having. etc. If your attention wanders, gently bring it back to that first memory and go deeper using a different sense. Seek to go deeper into one memory or area of memories, rather than wide and shallow across many memories. This is not free associating from one topic to another, it is using your attention in a very specific, deliberate and controlled way, to go deeper and deeper and deeper into one topic and improve your ability to manage the consciousness sense of memory in a deliberate way.

The key is relaxed, directed attention. This is not a difficult, goal orientated exercise, it’s an experimental training in deliberate attention management. If you are straining, back off and be easier on yourself. Use relaxed observation rather than strained concentration.

Once you are comfortable with the concept of going deeper, stay within the general area, but slowly allow your attention to naturally explore what is connected to that original memory, using your curiosity as a guide. For example, if you picked a particular time in your life, remember other things that were happening at that time, and go deeper into each of those things in turn. If you picked a person, remember other things you did with that person, and go deeper into each one in turn. If it was an activity, remember different times or places you did that same activity, and go deeper into each of those places. Remember this is not day dreaming. It’s very conscious, deliberate exploration. Use a mixture of curiosity and control.

Continue this process until you come across a memory that you really haven’t remembered for some time, or that you would never have remembered if you had not done this exercise.

Continue the memory exercise for at least 10 minutes. You can stay with one memory or move to others. Check with yourself how you now feel. Usually, this exercise will leave you feeling relaxed, curious and appreciative of the uniqueness of your life. If it leaves you feeling a bit tense, go outside and do a few minutes of the external consciousness exercises to help you feel relaxed and grounded in the physical world.

Self Reflection: Memory

• Have you ever deliberately trained your consciousness sense of memory?

• In just a few words, what is your relationship to your memories?

• Do you think your memory is good or bad? If so, why?

• Have you ever had your memory temporarily break down?

• When you are tired, what happens to your memory?

• Do you ever just spend time remembering the past just for the enjoyment of it?

• Are there people or events in your past that you know will trigger negative emotions if you were to deliberately remember them?

• Are there people, events or sensations in your past that you avoid remembering? What emotion do you experience when you sense you are avoiding remembering these things?

• Overall, when you choose to remember past events in your life, do you tend to focus on negative or positive memories? 
  

Your Personal Insights

 Make notes in your journal about your relationship to your sense of memory. If particular memories were discovered, note them down too.